A young woman went to Vaidya Kumar complaining of pain.
"Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor.
"You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman.
"What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific."
The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT hurts", she cried.
Vaidya Kumar checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis, "You have a broken finger."
A man walked into Vaidya Kumar’s crowded office in Boston. As he approached the desk, the receptionist asked, "Yes sir, may we help you?"
"There’s something wrong with my dick," he replied.
The receptionist became aggravated and said, "You shouldn’t come into a crowded office and say things like that."
"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you." he said.
"We do not use language like that here," she said. "Please go outside and come back in and say that there’s something wrong with your ’ear’ or whatever."
The man walked out, waited several minutes and reentered. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"
"There’s something wrong with my ’ear’," he stated. The receptionist nodded approvingly. "And what is wrong with your ear, sir?"
"I can’t piss out of it." the man replied.
Mr. Rao goes to Vaidya Kumar’s office to collect his wife’s test results from the lab.
The nurse says to him, "I’m sorry, sir, but there has been a bit of a mix-up at the lab and we have a problem. When we sent the samples from your wife to the lab, the samples from another Mrs. Rao were sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is your wife’s. Frankly, it’s either bad or terrible news."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, one Mrs. Rao has tested positive for Alzheimer’s disease and the other for AIDS. We can’t tell which is your wife."
"That’s terrible! Can we do the test over?" asked Mr. Rao.
"Normally, yes. But you have insurance, and they won’t pay for these expensive tests more than once."
"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"
"We called your insurance company and they recommend that you drop your wife off in the middle of town. If she finds her way home, don’t sleep with her."